She brought a Rakhi. You brought feelings. Now begins your war to not get Bhaizoned.
Remember that scene in 'Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi' where all the women start
tying rakhis to their dance partners on Rakshabandhan? Raj (Suri in disguise) sees what’s coming and runs straight to the washroom, because obviously, the last thing he wants is a Rakhi from his own wife. Thankfully, Taani isn’t into that whole ritual. But what if your crush is? What if she walks up to you today, smiling, with a Rakhi in hand, and you realize your love story is about to be rerouted to Bhaizone Express? Yes, this is an awkward situation. But fear not, main hoon na! Like Salman and SRK jumping in slow motion to save each other from missiles, your bro is here with life-saving ideas and slick escape routes.
Well, on Rakshabandhan 2025, our mission is to figure out what to say or do when your crush approaches with a Rakhi in her hand.
The Emotional Black Hole Known as “Bhaizone”
The thing is that when you catch feelings and she catches a Rakhi, you’ve entered the bhaizone. It’s not like the friendzone, where there’s still theoretical hope. This comes with rituals, and a thread you can’t untie without hurting someone's sentiments. It’s... kind of irreversible. And the worst part is, she means well. She is probably smiling while texting, thinking how nice you are. You’re the kind of guy who remembers her birthday, listens to her rants, sends her memes at 2 AM, and so naturally, you must be brother material. What else?
Meanwhile, you're just sitting there wondering how fast a human can emotionally relocate to another planet.
What You Could Say (Before the Thread Hits the Wrist)
If she hasn’t tied it yet, there’s still a window. What you say next could either shift the vibe or just soften the emotional damage.
Here are some options, if you're feeling brave:
“Wait, Rakhi? For me? That’s a plot twist I wasn’t emotionally prepared for.”
You’re being honest, slightly funny, but not rude.
“I thought we were going for coffee... not a sacred thread ceremony.”
Says a lot without saying much.
“No offense, but I’m currently in a no-bhai zone. Doctor’s advice.”
Gently awkward, and might make her laugh. Might also make her think.
“Be careful, once tied, there's no returns and no refunds. Emotionally speaking.”
You’re giving her a way out. Or at least a reason to pause.
Whatever you do, don’t act cold or hurt in that moment. Keep it light. Humor helps, but don't overdo it. You’re not auditioning for a stand-up special; just trying to keep your heart from publicly falling apart.
Things You Can Do to Avoid the Bhai Ceremony
If words aren’t your strong suit, actions can surely do the job. The goal is simple: distract or disappear.
Be "busy"
Say you’ve got errands, guests, or a mysterious family ritual. You don’t have to lie well, just confidently.
Emergency call plan
Have a friend call you when she shows up. Say something dramatic like, “WHAT? She said she loves me back? Bro, I gotta go!” and leave. Will it be cringey? Yes. But will you be tied? No.
Show up with a gift
Get there early and hand her something with, “Didn’t want to wait for a festival to make you feel special.” It's emotionally confusing but romantic. And you know, sometimes confusion works.
Keep your hands full
Food in one hand, drink in the other. Say, “Would love to, but the samosa grease is real. Rituals deserve clean hands.”
Crowd strategy
Stay around other people. Rakhi ambushes happen in private. In a group, she might drop the idea altogether.
Already tied excuse
Wear a Rakhi someone else gave you. Bonus if it’s real. Just say, “Sorry, quota full for the year.”
What Not to Do (Even If You’re Spiralling)
Now let’s talk about damage control. Some reactions are just... don’t. Avoid them at all costs.
Don’t say, “It’s okay, I always wanted a sister.” You didn’t. Stop lying to both of you.
Don’t cry. Even if it’s one silent tear. Save it for the group chat.
Don’t upload a selfie with her captioned “Blessed.” You’re not blessed. You’re emotionally bruised.
Don’t say, “You’ll regret this when I’m rich.” Well, you’re not the hero of a 2008 Bollywood movie.
And never, ever offer your wrist like you're sacrificing yourself at an altar. Keep your dignity intact, please.
If It Still Happens...
So maybe you couldn’t dodge fast enough, or you froze when she smiled at you. It’s done. The Rakhi is on.
First of all: breathe. Your heart broke a little, but your soul is still standing. Know that it’s okay to feel upset. You had expectations, and they just got tied up in a red-and-yellow thread with a kaju katli on the side. However, the thing is that one Rakhi doesn’t mean you're unlovable. It just means this one didn’t turn out the way you thought.
You can cry it out or laugh about it. Also, you can definitely make a meme on your failed love story. And talk to friends. You’re not the first person to get bhaizoned, and sadly, you won’t be the last. It stings, but it also clears the path for someone who doesn’t see you as her protective sibling. Remember, you’re still allowed to believe in love. Just... maybe stay alert around August every year.
Happy Rakshabandhan. May your wrists stay safe.
