Commute Time Wisdom
Most people treat their commute as dead time—a necessary evil to endure on the way to and from work. Whether it involves scrolling through social media,
listening to podcasts, or replaying awkward scenarios, the commute often feels unproductive. However, what if that travel time could be used in a way that truly changes how a person approaches the day? Developing emotional intelligence (EQ) is a valuable skill, it involves understanding and managing one's emotions and recognizing those of others. This skill affects relationships, careers, stress levels, and general life quality. The process of building emotional intelligence requires time and conscious effort.
5-Minute Building Blocks
Instead of overhauling an entire daily routine or trying to find extra hours, which can be challenging, emotional intelligence can be improved through small, consistent efforts. Just five minutes a day offers ample time for practice! Commuting offers a great opportunity to include these five-minute exercises into your schedule. These exercises are easy to do and can be done almost anywhere. The first exercise is all about checking in with one's feelings and observing them. The second exercise focuses on the importance of perspective. The final exercise focuses on discovering triggers and what triggers emotions.
Check Your Feelings
Many people go through their days without pausing to assess their emotions. Instead of observing, they react, rushing through each day without reflection. But self-awareness is key to emotional intelligence. It starts with simply noticing what one is feeling. At the beginning of the commute, take a moment to check in with yourself. The first step involves asking the question: "What am I feeling right now?" The emotion should be named as precisely as possible. Instead of just saying “fine” or “stressed,” try to dig a little deeper. The details matter: Is there anxiety about a meeting? Irritation from something that happened in the morning? Quiet excitement about the weekend? Sadness for unknown reasons? It is important to note these feelings without judgment. The goal is simply to notice the emotions and allow them to exist without trying to push them away. Over time, you'll start catching your emotions earlier—before they spiral into regrettable reactions. This approach can be very helpful.
Perspective Exercise
This exercise might feel a bit uncomfortable, but that is the point. Think about a recent disagreement with someone. The disagreement could be small or big. It could be with a partner or a coworker. The challenge is to spend five minutes making the other person's case. Really commit to arguing their side as if you fully believed it, whether out loud or in writing. Consider their reasons, what they might have been feeling, and what valid points they made that might have been dismissed. Imagine a neutral observer; what would make their argument sound reasonable? The brain will try to insert counterarguments or jabs. But the focus should be on being their advocate. This exercise pulls a person out of their own head. The ego often takes charge in a disagreement, and this exercise loosens its grip. Ultimately, it builds empathy to resolve conflicts, and not just smooth them over. This approach can help one understand where they were coming from in a way one did not before. Ultimately, the ability to empathize with people who do not agree with you is key.
The Trigger Audit
Everyone has triggers—situations, comments, or behaviors that can cause an immediate reaction. Most people are unaware of their triggers until they are already reacting. This exercise involves becoming curious before the reaction happens. Think back over the past day or two. Were there moments when your emotions spiked? Perhaps you snapped at someone, felt defensive, or noticed anxiety? Try to pinpoint what happened immediately before that reaction. What was said? What was the context? Was it a specific word, tone, or topic? Did it remind you of something from the past? Then, consider why that specific thing got under your skin. There is often a deeper need or fear beneath—a feeling of disrespect, a lack of recognition, a loss of control, or not feeling good enough. Once you can clearly identify your triggers, they lose some of their power. You start to catch yourself before the reaction takes over.
