Embracing Growth Through Patience
Parenting Krishna has been a profound lesson in the art of waiting and the necessity of releasing control. Initially, the focus was on the process of managing
the complexities of raising children, especially two with autism, rather than solely on them as individuals. These formative years were a survival mode for the family. However, as Krishna matured, a shift occurred. He began engaging in meaningful conversations with his sisters, expressing concern for their well-being and anxieties. This burgeoning empathy and connection extended to the non-profit organization the author co-founded. Krishna's deep involvement and emotional investment became apparent when he expressed distress over a teacher's departure, emphasizing the importance of stability and belonging. His proactive approach demonstrated a maturing sense of responsibility and a strong connection to the community.
Championing Freedom and Independence
A significant aspect of Krishna's growth has been his unwavering advocacy for his sisters' freedom. His biggest fear for his two sisters with autism was that they would face restrictions and be denied the experience of independence. This year marked a milestone as both sisters, at the age of 22, moved into their own apartments within an assisted living community, a freedom Krishna had deeply desired for them. Witnessing this transition, even as he helped pack their belongings, brought forth a mix of joy and poignant emotions, evident in his tear-filled eyes. This mirrors an earlier instance when a nine-year-old Krishna exhibited alarm when his sister Jayanthi was reprimanded. His immediate protective instinct, offering to care for her with his sister Jayashree, revealed his profound anxiety and deep-seated care for her. It underscored the parent's realization of his intense concern for his siblings' security and well-being.
Navigating Independence and Exploration
Krishna's departure for higher studies was an emotionally charged moment for the entire family, testing their strong sibling bonds and emotional interdependence. While Krishna found his family life perhaps less stimulating, his college years in Bangalore allowed him to explore, forge new friendships, and broaden his horizons beyond academics. Each visit home revealed a noticeable evolution in his perspective and experiences. Upon graduating with a degree in business administration, Krishna returned home without a clear career ambition. Despite his mother’s entrepreneurial inclination for him, Krishna initially resisted, citing a need for work experience. He expressed a disinterest in traditional academic pursuits, preferring practical work. His enrollment in a leadership program at a wealth management company during his job search proved pivotal, leading him to discover a genuine passion for the field.
Discovering Passion and Evolving Goals
Krishna's career path has demonstrated a remarkable capacity for change and self-discovery. He now balances a demanding role in financial services with a renewed commitment to academics, diligently studying for an exam he had previously dismissed. This personal evolution has also fostered a new dimension in his relationship with his father, CP. They have developed a shared interest in wealth management, spending quality time discussing Krishna's burgeoning passion. This newfound connection highlights the evolving dynamics within the family. The parents' approach to parenting involved granting limited freedom until around age 18, followed by a gradual withdrawal of controls to encourage self-guidance. This open parenting style aimed to foster trust and prevent the need for deceit among the children.
Building Trust Through Open Dialogue
The relationship between Krishna and his mother is characterized by open communication and mutual acceptance, even amidst differing perspectives. They have navigated conversations about women and relationships, reaching a point of understanding and acknowledging each other's flaws. Krishna has also been instrumental in challenging his mother's inadvertently conservative outlook. A late-night phone call vividly illustrates this. When his mother expressed concern about his whereabouts, Krishna calmly explained he had just dropped a female friend home after a movie. His patient response to her surprise and anxiety about the late hour and the safety of the situation demonstrated his maturity and responsible decision-making, including ensuring her parents were aware of her outing and traveling by cab. This exchange highlights the trust built through honest conversations and a willingness to understand each other's viewpoints.
Accepting Life's Unforeseen Turns
Krishna's artistic talents first surfaced dramatically at the age of 12 when he spontaneously performed several bhajans during a Sai bhajan session, revealing a natural aptitude for music and rhythm. This led to several years of singing and learning the tabla. However, his musical journey has since taken a different direction. The mother reflects on this evolution with acceptance, acknowledging that while a child may possess talent, their interests can shift. This understanding is a core tenet of her parenting philosophy, encapsulated by the metaphor of a gardener and a plant. Once the seeds are sown and the soil is prepared, the gardener's role shifts to allowing the plant the space and freedom to grow, accepting its natural trajectory. This acceptance of change is central to the lessons learned in raising Krishna.
