Girls Gone Wide
The narrative begins with the author's initiation into the world of offwidth climbing under the mentorship of Mary Eden and Kaya Lindsay. These experienced
climbers embodied a unique blend of toughness and femininity, often incorporating makeup and long earrings into their challenging climbs. The author recounts observing their approach, from meticulous preparation akin to 'getting ready for prom' with tape and knee pads to their bold style, including matching outfits and blasting feminist music. Initially, the author felt a disconnect, struggling with the perceived contradiction between femininity and the brute strength required for offwidth. However, witnessing Mary and Kaya's unapologetic embrace of their 'girliness'—not just on the climbs but in their interactions and self-expression—began to shift her perspective. The author describes joining their crew, participating in photo shoots, and gradually adopting elements of their style, including acquiring her own pair of turquoise earrings. This period marked a turning point, where femininity was no longer seen as a weakness to be hidden but as an integral part of their collective identity and climbing prowess, influencing the author to start incorporating similar elements into her own challenging climbs.
Art and Power
This section pivots to an art historical context, introducing the concept of the 'male gaze' through a college art class experience. The author's professor highlighted a revolutionary painting where a female subject was depicted with indifference to the viewer, her face obscured and body hidden, representing an artist painting a woman as an equal for the first time. This contrasted sharply with traditional portraits where women were often posed to be as visible and appealing as possible to a male audience. The professor further pointed to another painting of a young woman engrossed in her task, unaware of being observed, reinforcing the idea of agency and self-occupation independent of external observation. These examples from art history serve as a foundational understanding of how women have been historically depicted and how a departure from that can signify a shift in power dynamics and a recognition of female autonomy, setting the stage for the author's personal reflections on her own experiences.
The Close-Up
The author recounts a pivotal moment witnessing Nina Williams, a renowned climber, apply mascara in a documentary before tackling a difficult highball boulder problem. This scene, featured in 'Reel Rock 14,' was met with laughter from the male audience in the theater, a reaction that deeply unsettled the author. She perceived the laughter as dismissive, implying that applying makeup was inherently silly for such a physically demanding activity. Despite the audience's initial reaction, Williams's subsequent ascent of 'Ambrosia' (V11) commanded respect and awe, demonstrating undeniable skill and bravery. However, the lingering memory of the snickers stayed with the author, fueling her anger and confusion. She felt a personal connection to Williams's routine, finding it justifiable and normal, especially for a professional being filmed. This experience solidified the author's growing awareness of how traditionally feminine acts were often trivialized or ridiculed in male-dominated spaces, particularly within extreme sports, and how she lacked the words to defend such simple acts of self-expression at the time.
Blue and White
This section synthesizes the author's journey of self-discovery regarding femininity and strength. She reflects on how lessons of visibility are often implicitly understood by women and nonbinary individuals, such as preferring female mentors for safety or appreciating how Sasha DiGiulian's vibrant style in the 2010s made female climbers more visible. The author admits to feeling incomplete or 'muted' on days she climbs without her signature long earrings, linking their absence to a feeling of being disconnected from the person she became during her time with Mary and Kaya. She questions the deeper meaning behind wearing earrings on hard climbs, moving beyond mere superstition to an understanding of their symbolic significance. The author realizes that her mentors were determined to prove that heightened femininity doesn't diminish strength, challenging the pervasive notion that to be taken seriously in climbing, one must adopt masculine traits. She concludes that incorporating elements like makeup and earrings into her challenging ascents is a deliberate assertion that feminine flair is compatible with elite performance, honoring her identity as a woman without contradiction, and making this chosen aesthetic an essential part of her strength and individuality.
