A Star's Struggle
Following the devastating loss of her husband, Rishi Kapoor, in April 2020, veteran actress Neetu Kapoor faced an overwhelming battle with insomnia that
lasted for several months. This prolonged period of sleeplessness led her to seek solace and escape through alcohol, a habit she found distressing due to her inherent health consciousness. In an candid conversation on Soha Ali Khan's YouTube podcast, Neetu shared that she found herself needing to drink to achieve sleep, stating, "I just needed to numb my head and go to sleep." This reliance on alcohol made her feel disconnected from her well-being and usual disciplined lifestyle, prompting her to reach out for professional assistance. She expressed, "I didn’t like myself like that. I just needed to numb my head and go to sleep. I didn’t like myself. So, I called my doctor, and I said this is what is going on with me. I need help. I don’t like it. I am not made like that. I’m so well conscious. I like my exercise. I like everything."
Medical Intervention for Sleep
To address her severe sleep issues, Neetu Kapoor was connected with a highly sought-after gynecologist who offered a unique form of support. This medical professional would visit Neetu's residence around 11 pm to administer injections specifically designed to induce sleep. The doctor would remain present until Neetu had drifted off, a routine that continued for ten consecutive nights. After this period, Neetu felt sufficiently recovered to discontinue the medical intervention. She recounted, "So, she sent a very well-known gynaecologist. You can’t even get her appointment. She would come to my house at about 11 pm… she asked me… what time do you sleep? So, she would come, and she would inject me and put me to sleep and sit there till the time I had not gone to sleep. This happened for 10 days. The 11th or 12th day, I said, 'Doc, I am good now. I don’t think I need this, and I can move on.' And that was it." Neetu emphasized the importance of self-awareness and the need for companionship during such times, reflecting, "You have to recognise. I don’t know what therapists can do. I needed a friend. I needed to have this time out."
Grief's Neurological Impact
Dr. Aniruddha More, a consultant neurologist at Jupiter Hospital in Thane, elaborated on the profound physiological effects of grief on the brain and nervous system. He explained that intense emotional loss often triggers a sustained state of heightened stress and alertness within the brain, making it exceptionally difficult for individuals to achieve restful sleep. This disruption can manifest in various ways, including prolonged difficulty falling asleep, frequent awakenings during the night, intensely vivid dreams, waking up excessively early, and experiencing mental exhaustion even after a full night's rest. Dr. More stated, "After a major emotional loss, the brain often stays in a heightened state of stress and alertness. This makes it hard to fall asleep. Many people find it difficult to fall asleep, wake frequently, have vivid dreams, wake up too early, or feel mentally exhausted even after hours in bed. Neurologically, grief disrupts the brain’s normal sleep-wake regulation."
The Deceptive Nature of Alcohol
Regarding the use of alcohol during periods of grief, Dr. More cautioned about its temporary sedative effects. Initially, alcohol can slow down brain activity, creating a sensation of relaxation and inducing sleepiness. However, this effect is transient and can be profoundly misleading. Critically, alcohol interferes with essential sleep stages, particularly REM sleep and deep restorative sleep, which are vital for emotional processing and brain repair. Over time, the brain can develop an association between alcohol consumption and sleep, leading to both psychological dependence and physical dependency. The consequence is a decline in overall sleep quality, increased daytime fatigue, and a diminished capacity to effectively process emotional distress. Dr. More added, "Alcohol initially slows brain activity, acting as a sedative. This is why people may feel relaxed or sleepy after drinking. However, this effect is temporary and can be misleading. Alcohol disrupts REM sleep and deep restorative sleep, which are crucial for emotional recovery and brain repair. Over time, the brain begins to link alcohol to falling asleep, leading to both psychological and physical dependence. Eventually, sleep quality declines, daytime fatigue increases, and processing emotional distress becomes harder."
When Insomnia Becomes Serious
Dr. More underscored the importance of recognizing when grief-related insomnia evolves into a medical concern. While short-term sleep disturbances are a common and expected response to a significant loss, persistent insomnia demands serious attention. Chronic sleep deprivation can have detrimental effects on cognitive functions such as memory and concentration, negatively impact mood regulation, compromise the immune system, and impair overall brain health. For individuals experiencing prolonged insomnia, there's an increased risk of heightened anxiety, exacerbated depression, and persistent fatigue. Dr. More emphasized the critical need for professional intervention if individuals begin to rely on alcohol or sedatives for sleep, or if their daily functioning is significantly impaired. He stated, "Yes, stressed Dr More. 'Short-term sleep disturbance after a loss is common, but persistent insomnia should be taken seriously. Chronic sleep deprivation can harm memory, concentration, mood regulation, immunity, and overall brain function. For some, long-lasting insomnia can raise anxiety levels, worsen depression, and contribute to long-term fatigue. If someone starts relying on alcohol or sedatives, or if daytime functioning is significantly affected, seeking medical help is important."
Healthier Coping Mechanisms
The most effective approach to managing sleep during periods of grief involves facilitating the brain's natural recovery of its sleep rhythm, rather than resorting to artificial sleep induction. Dr. More recommended strategies that support the body's internal clock, such as maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, reducing screen time before bed, engaging in regular physical activity during the day, and actively seeking emotional support. These practices help to regulate the brain's circadian system. While short-term medical interventions might occasionally be necessary, Dr. More strongly cautioned against self-medicating with alcohol, as it disrupts the brain's crucial recovery processes. He concluded, "The aim should be to help the brain slowly restore its natural sleep rhythm instead of forcing sleep artificially. Keeping consistent sleep schedules, limiting screen time late at night, moving regularly during the day, and seeking emotional support can help regulate the brain’s circadian system. In some cases, short-term medical treatment may be necessary, but self-medicating with alcohol is risky since it disrupts the brain’s recovery process." The fundamental understanding, as highlighted by Dr. More, is that grief is a process that requires time, emotional security, and adequate rest for gradual healing, emphasizing, "One crucial point to understand is that grief cannot be “switched off” overnight. The brain needs time, emotional safety, and proper rest to heal gradually."
