Praise's Double-Edged Sword
The intention behind praising children is undoubtedly positive: to boost their self-esteem and encourage good behavior. However, psychologists have uncovered
a nuanced perspective on praise, revealing that not all praise is created equal. Specifically, ability-focused praise, which emphasizes a child's inherent talents or intelligence ('You're so smart!'), can inadvertently diminish their intrinsic motivation. This type of praise inadvertently puts the focus on outcomes rather than the process, making children more concerned about appearing competent than enjoying the learning experience itself. They may then avoid challenging tasks for fear of failing and appearing 'less smart,' ultimately hindering their growth and resilience. This is important to keep in mind while interacting with children and their successes and achievements.
Ability-Focused Praise's Downside
The problem with ability-focused praise lies in its potential to create a fixed mindset. When children are consistently told they are 'smart' or 'talented,' they may start to believe these are fixed traits. This can lead them to avoid situations where they might struggle or fail, as these experiences could challenge their self-perception. Instead of embracing challenges as opportunities for growth, they may become overly concerned with proving their intelligence. This creates a delicate balance between success and avoiding activities that do not come naturally, ultimately diminishing their ability to persevere through difficulties. Over time, this can lead to a decrease in their motivation to learn and grow, as they become more focused on maintaining a certain image of themselves rather than the value of the learning experience.
Embracing Process Praise
A more effective approach, according to experts, is process praise. This type of praise focuses on the effort, strategies, and persistence a child demonstrates, rather than their innate abilities. Instead of saying, 'You're so smart for solving this puzzle,' process praise would involve saying, 'You worked really hard on that puzzle, and it paid off!' This shifts the focus from outcome to the journey, encouraging children to see effort and perseverance as key ingredients of success. By praising their effort, you instill in them the understanding that they have control over their success. This strategy fosters a growth mindset, where they believe their abilities can develop through dedication and hard work, boosting their confidence and making them more open to embracing new challenges and taking risks.
Practical Praise Tactics
Transforming your praise requires shifting your focus from the child's inherent traits to their actions. Instead of generic statements of praise, be specific about the effort you observed. A good example would be acknowledging their efforts, such as, 'I saw you practiced your violin for an hour today; that's fantastic dedication!' Or, you might praise the strategies they employed, such as, 'You tried several methods to solve that problem, and it worked! Great thinking.' Another approach is to commend their persistence, such as, 'You didn't give up even when it was difficult, and that's what helped you to achieve it.' Finally, ensure your praise is genuine and sincere. Avoid over-praising and be mindful of how your words can affect a child's development by building their confidence.
Boosting Confidence Immediately
There’s a quick, simple trick to help boost confidence, as shared by experts. It involves using seven everyday phrases that help children feel secure and self-assured. For example, rather than saying 'good job,' say, 'I noticed how you...' and then specifically note what they did well. This is more specific, such as 'I noticed how you shared your toys. That was very thoughtful.' Another phrase includes 'You can do this.' When faced with a challenge, reminding them of their capacity is very important. Use 'I trust you.' This builds a sense of autonomy. It is very crucial to be encouraging with your words. These phrases, embedded into daily interactions, help children feel capable and valued.
Beyond Praise: Other Factors
While the type of praise is important, other factors play a significant role in fostering children's motivation. Setting a positive example is critical; demonstrate your own enthusiasm for learning and for approaching challenges with a positive attitude. Encourage a growth mindset within your household by creating a supportive atmosphere where mistakes are viewed as learning opportunities. Encourage your child to set goals and applaud their efforts and persistence towards achieving them. Provide opportunities for exploration and allow them to pursue their interests. By implementing these strategies, you'll create an environment that helps children thrive, building their confidence and making them confident individuals.
