Start with the Right Foundation
The secret to a soft, romantic updo isn't perfect, silky hair; it's texture. Freshly washed, smooth hair is often too slippery for a bun to hold its shape. Stylists often find that styles hold better on day-two hair. If you are starting with clean hair,
you can create grip and volume with a few key products. Before you begin, spritz a texturizing spray or dry shampoo through your roots and mid-lengths. This will absorb excess oil and give your hair the 'grit' it needs to hold a style without feeling stiff. For those with fine hair, a volumizing mousse applied before blow-drying can also provide a great base, adding body and making the hair feel fuller.
Gather Hair Loosely
A key difference between a severe bun and a romantic one is the tension at the base. Instead of using a brush, which can flatten the hair and create a sleek look, use your fingers to gather your hair. This preserves the natural texture and volume you’ve built. When pulling your hair into a ponytail, avoid making it too tight against your scalp. A good tip is to tilt your head back slightly as you secure the ponytail; this helps keep the nape area tidy without pulling the front too harshly. Once the ponytail is secure, you can gently tug on the hair at the crown and sides to create a little lift and softness. This prevents the style from looking flat and adds to the overall relaxed feel.
Build a Softer, Fuller Bun
How you form the bun itself is crucial. Instead of a tightly coiled knot, aim for a looser, more voluminous shape. One popular technique is to split the ponytail into two sections and twist them in opposite directions before wrapping them around each other to form the bun. Another method is to lightly tease the ponytail before wrapping it around its base to create more fullness. Once wrapped, secure it with bobby pins rather than another hair tie, which gives you more control over the final shape. Don't worry if it doesn’t look perfect; the goal is a relaxed, 'undone' aesthetic. For a fuller look, you can also use a sock bun doughnut, which provides a base to wrap your hair around for a perfectly rounded shape.
The Art of 'Pulling It Apart'
This is the most important step for achieving that signature romantic softness. Once your bun is secured, it's time to deconstruct it slightly. Gently pull and 'fluff' sections of the bun itself to increase its size and add texture. Use your fingertips to strategically loosen the hair, which will make it appear larger and more effortless. The key is to be gentle; you want to create softness, not have the bun fall apart. This 'pancaking' technique makes the bun look lived-in and intentional rather than messy. Don't be afraid to adjust until you are happy with the shape and volume.
Frame Your Face and Finish the Look
A romantic updo is never complete without softening the hairline. Pull out a few delicate strands of hair around your face, temples, and in front of your ears. These face-framing pieces break up the severity of an updo and create a much softer silhouette. If you have straight hair, you can give these pieces a slight bend with a curling iron or by twisting them around your finger. For a final touch, use a flexible-hold hairspray to set the style. This will control flyaways and ensure your bun lasts, but without the stiff, crunchy feeling of a strong-hold spray, maintaining that touchable, soft finish.
