Sadhguru Writes | How To Bring Up A Child

Bringing up children well is a certain discretion; there is no one perfect line to draw as to how much to do and how much not to do. Different children may need different levels of attention, different levels of expression of love and toughness, and whatever else. There is no one standard rule for all children. Each child is different.

1. Don’t make it a big burden on your children that they have to take care of you. It is a privilege that this child has come through you—this bundle of joy has arrived in your house. But they are not your property, or they don’t belong to you. Just see how to enjoy it, how to nurture it, and how to support it. Don’t try to make it an investment for your future.

2. Don’t try to fulfill your ambitions through children.

Let them become whatever they have to become. Don’t try to mould them according to your understanding of life. Your child need not do what you did in your life. Your child should do something that you did not even dare to think of in your life. Only then will this world progress, and something will happen.

3. Don’t be overly loving to children and pamper them. This will make them powerless and useless in the world. What people keep on repeating as love is catering to whatever a child asks for. If you get him what he asks for, it is stupidity, isn’t it?

4. Don’t be in a hurry to make a child grow. It is very important a child remains a child; there is no hurry to make him into an adult because you can’t reverse it later. When he is a child and he behaves like a child, it’s wonderful. When he becomes an adult and behaves like a child, that’s bad; that’s a retarded life. So there is no hurry for a child to become an adult.

5. What do you know about life to teach? A few survival tricks—that’s the only thing you can teach the child. Please compare yourself with your child and see who is capable of more joy, you or your child. So if he knows more joy than you, who is better qualified to be a consultant about life, you or him? So when a child comes, it’s time to learn; it’s not time to teach.

6. Please do not introduce any spirituality to young children. Children are very close to a spiritual possibility if only they are not too much meddled with. So create an atmosphere where this meddling could be minimised and a child is encouraged to grow into his intelligence rather than into your family or into your identity of your religion or whatever. The child will become naturally spiritual without even knowing the word spirituality.

7. Maintain a very friendly relationship. Stop imposing yourself on the child and create a strong friendship rather than being a boss. Don’t sit on a pedestal and tell the child what he should do. Place yourself below the child so that it’s easy for him to talk to you.

8. Make yourself truly attractive. A child is all the time getting influenced by TV, neighbours, teachers, school, streets, and a million other influences. Whichever one he finds most attractive, he will go that way. So you have to make yourself in a way that the most attractive thing he finds is to be with the parents. If you show yourself as a joyous, intelligent, and wonderful person, he won’t seek company anywhere else. For anything, he will come to you and ask you.

Every day, if you set an example of fear and anxiety, you cannot expect them to live in joy. They also learn the same thing. The best thing you can do is transform yourself into a peaceful and loving human being and create a joyous atmosphere.

Ranked amongst the fifty most influential people in India, Sadhguru is a Yogi, mystic, visionary and a New York Times bestselling author. Sadhguru has been conferred the Padma Vibhushan by the Government of India in 2017, the highest annual civilian award, accorded for exceptional and distinguished service. He is also the founder of the world’s largest people’s movement, Conscious Planet – Save Soil, which has touched over 4 billion people. Views expressed in the above piece are personal and solely those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect News18’s views.