Psychologist Shares 2 Tips For Couples To Be Happy, In Sync Ahead Of Christmas

Holidays can be hectic, with parties, get-togethers with family and holidays with friends. Add to it that emotions are running high as we reach the end of the year. There is a lot happening, and things can escalate. If any of those cliché Christmas movies have taught us anything is that you need to expect the unexpected.

“For couples, holidays are a scary time because they often call for revealing a new side of yourself to your partner,” Sabrina Romanoff, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist, professor and researcher from New York, tells CNBC Make It.

Every family has their own way of doing things, celebrating festivals and upholding traditions. While you might be excited to introduce your partner to all the things you have been doing since

childhood, it also works the same way for them. It is important that you be mindful of their choices, too.

To have a smooth holiday season, being flexible is key. “Ultimately, the goal is to blend each other’s cultures and worlds,” says Romanoff.

Here’s how successful couples tackle tough decisions and come out stronger during this festive time of year.

Couples who create new traditions together
Every couple have their own baggage – which can be good or bad – that they bring into their relationship. It includes past experiences, family traditions, life goals, habits and ways of doing things. But when you get into a relationship, it is vital that you compromise, unlearn and try new things together. Being open to new experiences and forming core memories with each other is what keeps a couple together.

Sabrina Romanoff shares what defines a successfully happy couple – they create new traditions together. “That could mean going to see the tree together at Rockefeller Centre or getting an ornament together,” says Sabrina Romanoff. It could also mean taking a vacation for the holidays, cooking the holiday meal, going on a hot chocolate crawl or even just taking a photograph at the same place every year. Building something new together is a bonding experience, and “that’s what brings security” in the relationship.

Couples who are ‘direct and honest’ about what they want

Ask any couple – your grandparents, parents, uncles or aunts – who’ve been married for a long time, and they will tell you that the secret to a happy and long union is communication. Both partners have to communicate with each other about their likes, dislikes and desires. For that, one needs to know what they want in the first place.

Whether it is splitting time with the in-laws, how much to spend on gifts, going on vacation and skipping the festive get-togethers – it is important that you tell your partner what you want from them. “You are better off being direct and honest with your partne,r so you both can really get what you both need,” shares Sabrina Romanoff.

And it is also vital to keep an open mind and be flexible with the ideas. The final decision needs to be agreed upon by both sides. “I think the healthiest couples are those who can get creative and compromise,” she says, adding, “There’s only one Christmas Eve; there’s only one Christmas Day.”