‘I Thought Something Was Wrong With Me’: Girija Oak Talks About Getting Panic Attacks

Growing up wasn’t easy for Girija Oak. In a recent chat, the actor shared how her parents’ separation slowly changed her life. She said the stress stayed with her for years, affecting her mental health and relationships.

Oak, daughter of veteran actor Girish Oak and pharmacist Padmashree Phatak, revealed that her parents’ decision to part ways unfolded over time and became part of her daily reality. “So it happened with me… there was a bond between my mom and dad, which we knew about. Gradually it increased and then eventually the decision was made that they would separate,” she said. “It wasn’t like I woke up one day and I had a trauma. This was something that was part of my life. It was everyday survival.”

As she continued her studies and college

routine, she said she did not realise how deeply the situation was impacting her. “You don’t really know how it’s affecting you. I didn’t understand what was happening to me or if anything was happening to me at all,” she shared.

The unprocessed stress soon took a physical form. “I started getting panic attacks. I would get palpitations, my palms would get sweaty, I would start getting breathless, and I would start sweating,” she recalled. The episodes weren’t always linked to obvious triggers. “It could happen when I was travelling to college or studying in my lab… but it was my body responding to stress that had built up for a very long time.”

Thinking it was a medical condition, Oak sought treatment. “I thought something was wrong with me medically. I went to the doctor and asked her if it was related to my heart,” she said. Therapy and SOS medication were suggested. “She guided me towards a psychologist for talk therapy, and I was also put on mild SOS medication.”

She said she could not speak openly about therapy at first. “I did not speak about it to anybody because I had no idea how it was. It wasn’t even the stigma of being called crazy. I just didn’t understand what to say,” she said.

The actor admitted that her parents’ troubled marriage later influenced her own perceptions. “I live with this baggage that I am a product of a failed or broken marriage,” she said. “If I hadn’t taken this load on myself, I would have stood up for myself in some of my previous relationships.”

Oak credited her husband, filmmaker Suhrud Godbole, for helping her heal. “Fortunately for me, I met somebody who is genuinely a very good friend of mine before everything else,” she said. “I can talk to Suhrud about anything. There is no such topic that is a no-go.”

“We know each other’s sensitive areas. He knows where my buttons are. He may not press them, but he hovers around them during our fights,” she added with a laugh. The couple has been together nearly 15 years, including 14 years of marriage.

Before finding stability, Oak experienced heartbreak. “I have had one big heartbreak. Everything was bad before Suhrud,” she said. “When I met Suhrud, it felt like a balm. When we go through red flags, we see the green flags better.” She summed up her belief in lasting love: “Every morning you wake up and you want to choose the same person all over again. It’s very easy to say 14 years.”

Oak began acting in films at 15. Her filmography includes Marathi titles such as Goshta Choti Dongraevadhi, Gulmohar, Manini and Adgule Madgule. She starred in Zee Marathi’s Lajja and has worked on stage productions.

Her short film Quarter premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in 2018 and earned her international recognition, including Best Actress at the European Cinematography Awards and a nomination at the Maverick Movie Awards. The film was later released digitally worldwide.

She also headlined the second season of the Hindi serial Ladies Special and was a finalist on the reality show Singing Star.