Choosing gifts for children can feel surprisingly overwhelming, especially when you want each present to be meaningful, age-appropriate, and not just more “stuff” piling up at home. Thoughtful gifting goes beyond price tags or trends; it is about understanding your child’s personality, interests, and stage of development, and then picking something that nurtures their creativity, independence, or curiosity.
In fact, the way a gift is given matters just as much – how you present it, talk about it, and set expectations can shape your child’s attitude towards gratitude, value, and consumption.
As Christmas time approaches, Angela J. Narayan, associate professor and child psychologist at the University of Denver, who studies child development and parenting,
shared with PTI 4 tips and tricks so that parents can be more intentional about gift-giving, especially for children who are young.
The age rule
Young children cannot focus on a lot of things at once. Angela says, “A good rule of thumb is that a 1-year-old can focus only on one thing at a time. A 2-year-old can maybe focus on two things at most, and a 3-year-old maybe three things, and so on. Stop at five.” Very few children actually need more than five gifts, so feel free to go lower.
The attention rule
Parents might be familiar with searching for gifts and toys that will keep their children occupied for hours. But most would come up empty-handed. Angela says, “What I have found is that my children – ages 5 and 7 – get excited about the things that I get excited about. So I try to buy things that I think are fun.” A way to do this is to ask yourself what you would like to play with if you got to be a child again.
The game’s rule
Card and board games are great gifts, often inexpensive, fun for many ages – excepting babies, of course – and capable of holding attention for a long time. Plus, they usually don’t take up much storage space. Angela says, “I love giving my kids games that are not only fun but also teach them helpful skills.”
Find collaborative games for preschoolers and early school-age children that will teach them problem-solving, teamwork and early reasoning skills. For elementary-age children, games that teach them how to manage difficult situations, like not always being in the lead, being a good sport and losing gracefully, help in the playground and in the classroom. Timeless card games like Uno and Memory, and newer ones like Sleeping Queens and Exploding Kittens, are great for using working memory, thinking flexibly, persisting and strategising.
The pressure rule
Some children love the idea of receiving gifts, says Angela, but there are many kids who do not revel in the theatrics of getting a gift in front of people. “They might feel self-conscious, overwhelmed by the sensory overload – all the textures, commotion and bright colours, not to mention people staring at them. The elements of surprise combined with the unspoken social pressure to be gracious and well-regulated are challenging for any young child,” she says.
So if your kid isn’t showing signs of enjoying this tradition, make changes. Maybe keep the phone away, give them a gift after every few hours or just let them tell you how they want to receive their presents. “We shouldn’t lose sight of what we should be doing – that is investing in togetherness and helping kids learn skills like being patient and taking turns, strengthening memory capacities, planning ahead, not giving up, and that being a team player will pay off later. These skills pave the way for longer sustained attention, focus and concentration, as well as confidence,” ends Angela.
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