Zeenat Aman Wants You To Spend Time With Your Ageing Parents: 'They Won't Be Around Forever'

In the relentless hum of the 21st century, “busy” has become our default setting. We wear our packed calendars like badges of honor, juggling spreadsheets, social obligations, and the perpetual weight of ‘adulting.’ But in this high-speed chase for success, a vital connection often thins out: the one with our ageing parents.

Veteran actor and silver-screen icon Zeenat Aman recently touched a raw nerve on social media, voicing a sentiment many parents feel but few dare to broadcast. “I cannot be the only parent to complain that their adult children don’t spend enough time with them?” she mused. Her grievance, she admitted, felt as though it had been falling on deaf ears—until her son, Zahaan, took her on a getaway to a secluded haven in Goa.

Why Do We Become Distant From Our Parents As We Grow Older?

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most urban professionals, the relationship with parents shifts into a transactional phase once we leave the nest. It becomes a series of “Did you eat?” phone calls and duty-bound visits during Diwali or long weekends. We convince ourselves that “providing” or “checking in” is the same as “being there.”

Zeenat’s post serves as a poignant reality check: Our parents don’t just want our check-ins; they want our presence. When she speaks of her soul being “fully appeased,” she isn’t talking about the luxury of the destination, but the luxury of undivided attention. “If you are an adult child, this is your reminder that your parents won’t be around forever. Make your time together count!”

How To Be A More Emotionally Available Child

Being “present” is a skill that many of us have unlearned. Here is how to bridge the emotional distance without waiting for a milestone or a crisis:

Practice ‘Active’ Listening (Without The Phone)
The biggest barrier to emotional availability is the glowing screen in your hand. When visiting or calling, put the phone in another room. Listen to their repetitive stories or their mundane updates about the neighbourhood with the same focus you’d give a high-stakes work meeting. To them, those stories are the bridge to your world.

Initiate The ‘Third Space’
Don’t just meet at home where the dynamics are fixed (them hosting, you being the guest). Like Zahaan’s Goa trip, find a “third space” like a park, a new café, or a quiet pottery class. Changing the environment breaks the routine and allows you to see each other as individuals, rather than just ‘Parent’ and ‘Child.’

Ask About Their ‘Internal’ World
We often ask parents about their health or their chores. Instead, ask about their thoughts. Might be a new show they’d have seen, or a person they might have reconnected with. Validating their intellectual and emotional life makes them feel seen, not just looked after.

At the end of the day, time is the only currency that cannot be earned back. This week, don’t just send a text. Demand some of your own time back from your schedule and give it to the people who gave you yours.