‘Brainwashed’ To Never Date Outside Caste, 32-Yr-Old Woman Is Now ‘Depressed’: ‘Dad Has Almost Stopped Talking’

Societal pressure to marry within one’s caste remains a deeply rooted issue in India, often leading to emotional distress, loneliness and even depression. Highlighting a similar experience, a 32-year-old woman recently opened up about her struggles and the emotional toll it has taken on her and her family.

In a heartfelt post on Reddit, the woman, who works in the tech industry and describes herself as independent and accomplished, explained how her conservative upbringing discouraged her from forming relationships outside her caste. Despite her personal growth and professional success, she shared that these expectations continue to weigh heavily on her.

“I have always wanted a partner and kids. I had never imagined myself unmarried at 32,” she

began her post.

How Does The Woman Feel?

Explaining the profound impact of her situation on her mental and physical health, she wrote, “I have never been into casual dating. And now it has taken a toll on my personal, emotional and physical health. The stress and anxiety are surreal. There are days when I feel suffocated from loneliness. I know there will be comments saying ‘enjoy your company, travel, get a hobby, etc.’”

The woman revealed that she even attempted to take therapy, but it did not help, as she longed for companionship. The emotional strain has extended to her parents. She revealed that her mother, a schizophrenia patient, has been deeply affected by her depression, while her father has almost stopped communicating with her. As the eldest child with two younger siblings, she expressed guilt over not fulfilling her family’s expectations for grandchildren and not taking her personal life seriously in her twenties.

Reflecting on her past, she admitted, “My parents had brainwashed my mind to not have a boyfriend or date someone outside the caste due to society pressure. Hence, I always focused on studies and was the topper academically.”

She further revealed that she had her first relationship at 25, set up through an arrange marriage but it ended unsuccessfully. “I screwed it up big time by being inexperienced and immature at relationships. I am a much wiser and more mature person now,” she added.

Depressed being unmarried
byu/Healthy_Science_4106 inAskIndianWomen

Here’s How Social Media Is Reacting

Social media users have expressed empathy, sharing personal experiences. A majority of users chimed in to share words of encouragement, while others expressed that they understand this pain of loneliness and societal pressure.

“I will be divorced at 31. I got married at 29. When I was unmarried, the loneliness felt like a blackhole. When I got married, ending up getting married to the wrong person, I felt that the loneliness I was feeling when I was unmarried was far better than being in this toxic hell. I now value the singlehood and the solitude it brought far more than I ever did before,” read a comment.

Another said, “I’m quite young, but I so feel very lonely. I felt it more before. I was very unattractively skinny and was a nerd so not many boys were into me, my self-esteem was so bad and the top of that I can’t seem to get attracted to my own tribe people.”

“I relate with you so much and I have nothing much to say other than wanting to give you a tight hug. It’s so easy for people around us to advise random stuff but it hurts like a bitch when you truly want to get married and the universe is dead against that,” stated a user.

An individual wrote, “I may be young to give advice, but here’s what I think, try not to think negatively. You’ve already built a life for yourself – you’re independent, self-sufficient, and capable of taking care of yourself. You have real freedom now.”

“You’re not behind OP, society just tells you that to make you feel guilty. Your twenties weren’t wasted; they were survival. That experience matters more than rushing into a match you didn’t truly want. Big hugs!” commented another.

Struggling With Loneliness And Mental Health

In the Reddit post, she also shared that she is unable to live alone because of depression and loneliness. “I tried living in a studio apartment but failed miserably. Later I shifted to a 3BHK to seek the company of other girls, and it too didn’t go well. After a point it became so toxic to share the space with someone. I am feeling so unstable right now. Trust me – my mind and my body are not at peace,” she concluded.