What Happens When Caregiving Goes Too Far? A Disturbing Trend Emerges

Bengaluru recently witnessed a chilling incident that sheds light on a disturbing trend in caregiving. A 42-year-old man allegedly pushed his 75-year-old paralytic mother off the terrace of their four-storey building, leading to her immediate death. The son confessed that he “couldn’t bear her suffering” after years of constant, bedridden care.

This tragic event raises crucial questions: What happens when the intense pressures of caregiving push someone to their breaking point?

In India, where the expectation to care for aging parents is deeply ingrained in family culture, many caregivers find themselves overwhelmed by the physical and emotional toll of the role. While caregiving is often seen as a noble responsibility, the consequences of neglecting

mental health can be devastating.

This Bengaluru incident, though extreme, is part of a worrying trend that underscores the importance of mental health support for caregivers.

Dr Sheena Sood, Consultant Psychologist at P.D. Hinduja Hospital & MRC, Khar, Mumbai, shares her expertise on the unseen strain caregivers face and discusses the critical need for intervention before caregiving turns deadly.

Many children feel immense pressure to care for their elderly parents, often neglecting their own well-being. How do family expectations contribute to caregiver stress?

Family expectations in India are deeply rooted in values of duty, reciprocity, and cultural morality. While these values are protective, they can also foster a psychological framework where “good children must sacrifice.” I’ve observed caregivers internalize guilt even when exhausted, especially in urban nuclear setups.

ALSO READ: Bengaluru Caregiver Tragedy: Why Mental Health Support Is Critical In India

The lack of shared caregiving structures intensifies this burden. Over time, caregivers experience “role entrapment,” where their identity narrows to that of a “caregiver” alone. Without emotional ventilation or institutional support, caregiving transitions from compassion to compulsion, leading to heightened stress, resentment, and emotional fatigue.

How can prolonged caregiving, especially when dealing with conditions like dementia or paralysis, affect the mental health of caregivers over time?

Chronic caregiving, particularly for conditions like dementia or post-stroke paralysis, leads to what we call “ambiguous loss”—the person is physically present but psychologically altered. Over the years, this results in cumulative grief, sleep disruption, and hypervigilance. Caregivers often develop subclinical depression, anxiety, and somatic symptoms such as headaches or hypertension.

In India, where formal respite care is limited, this issue is even more pronounced. I’ve noticed caregivers experiencing emotional blunting or irritability, not out of neglect, but due to neurological exhaustion. Without periodic relief, the brain remains in a continuous stress-response state, making caregivers more vulnerable to long-term mental health issues.

What are the early warning signs of caregiver burnout that family members should be aware of? How can caregivers recognize when they need support?

Burnout is rarely sudden; it develops gradually. Early signs include emotional withdrawal, reduced patience, disrupted sleep, and a sense of “going through the motions.” We also see decision fatigue and decreased empathy, where caregiving starts to feel mechanical rather than meaningful. Physical symptoms like chronic fatigue or frequent minor illnesses are often overlooked.

Caregivers may also experience a loss of perspective, feel trapped, or exhibit disproportionate anger over small issues. In Indian households, these signs are often dismissed as “normal stress.” Caregivers should recognize when caregiving begins to affect their identity, relationships, or basic functioning. At this point, seeking support is not just helpful—it’s essential.

What role does mental health support play in preventing caregiver burnout, and what kinds of interventions can help caregivers manage their stress?

Mental health support serves as both a buffer and a corrective mechanism. Structured interventions such as caregiver counselling, cognitive-behavioural strategies, and support groups help caregivers reframe guilt and build coping mechanisms. In my experience, even brief psychological interventions can significantly reduce the perceived burden. Psychoeducation, which includes understanding the disease’s progression, helps caregivers set realistic expectations.

In India, the gradual integration of caregiver clinics in tertiary hospitals is encouraging. Simple interventions like scheduled respite, mindfulness-based stress reduction, and family counselling can help restore emotional balance. It is crucial to normalize help-seeking behaviour so that caregivers do not feel that reaching out for support signifies failure.

What proactive steps can society and healthcare systems take to prevent tragic incidents like the one in Bengaluru, ensuring that caregivers are better supported?

Systemic change must be both practical and scalable. India’s healthcare model is largely patient-centric, but incremental steps can make it more caregiver-inclusive. Hospitals across metro and tier-2 cities can integrate brief caregiver stress check-ins during consultations and guide families toward existing counselling or support services.

Expanding community-based daycare centres, reliable home-care networks, and caregiver helplines can significantly ease the daily strain. Additionally, shifting social attitudes from silent endurance to shared responsibility within families can reduce isolation. Even small, coordinated efforts can drastically reduce caregiver distress and help prevent escalation into crises.