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Many people think that if you text too soon, you might seem overeager and, to some extent, even needy, while others believe that if you wait too long, you may appear disinterested.
But for many, the question, 'When should you text the other person?' may seem to be the fuel for overthinking.
Now, a study may have revealed the right amount of time to send that message after the first date.
Here's more.
What did the study find?
A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that receiving a message the morning after a date increases a person’s desire to pursue a relationship.
Researchers at Leuphana University in Lüneburg, Germany, asked 500 participants to picture an enjoyable first date at an Italian restaurant and then score their desire to continue the relationship based on whether they were contacted right away, the next morning, or two days later.
Participants rated next-morning messages highest, with an average score of 6.15, followed by immediate texts at 5.8 and a two-day delay at 5.5. On chemistry, next-morning contact again topped the list at 6.49, narrowly ahead of immediate messaging at 6.41, with a two-day wait scoring 5.77.
Timing mattered more to women than to men, researchers found. Representational image/Pixabay
"Our data suggest that while texting early is beneficial, delaying the text until the next morning not only maintains the positive effects of being perceived as interested and reliable but also enhances relationship intentions of the target," reported The Telegraph, quoting the researchers.
They further said that waiting too long exerts detrimental and backfiring effects.
Researchers also found that timing mattered more to women than to men. However, men were also most enthusiastic when they heard back the next day. The study’s authors wrote that quick follow-up messages boosted perceptions of interest, while delayed contact made dates seem less dependable.
Why is timing in texting so important?
Many would say that it's just a text, but in today's high-pressure world, a text is often the thing that we work with.
People are usually sensitive to small cues during the first date. Since there is no possible signal, what you say, how you say it and even when you say it, all matter. You analyse, overanalyse and reanalyse the same details over and over.
Researchers at Leuphana University in Lüneburg, Germany, asked 500 participants. Representational image/Pixabay
For many people, a follow-up text carries more meaning than it seems. It can signal interest, dependability, and the potential for a future relationship. Because we’re all eager for clues about how a romance might unfold, it’s easy to obsess over something as small as message timing. That fixation is what inspired researchers to study how texting at different times affects perception.
Traditionally, it has been frowned upon to text too soon. Dating experts note that it may come across as being too eager. This can reduce excitement and enthusiasm about the relationship.
And if texting too soon risks eagerness, waiting too long introduces a different, and more damaging, problem: doubt. A delay makes the sender seem less reliable and for people looking for a relationship, reliability is important.
What do the findings from the study mean for your dating life?
These results can affect your dating life as well. The takeaways from this research are simple. Firstly, text within 24 hours of the first date, ideally the next morning.
Avoid texting immediately if you are worried about coming across as overly eager and finally, don't wait more than a day to text the other person, even if you want to play it cool. And if you are on the receiving end, then don't read too much into the situation if the other person is not texting.
With inputs from agencies
