Jalopnik    •   8 min read

These Cars Are Your Dream Hearses

WHAT'S THE STORY?

A motorcycle and sidecar funeral hearse is displayed during the Devitt Insurance MCN London Motorcycle Show at ExCel on February 16, 2024 in London, England.

It will happen to all of us one day. We'll be sent across the River Styx on the universe's inevitable one-way ferry ride. We asked our readers earlier this week what cars would be their dream hearse. Some commenters decided to take the inquiry seriously and suggest tastefully elegant rides to go out on, like DMX's casket being carried in the bed of a monster truck. Others refused to reflect on their own mortality for comedic references to Hollywood classics. One person believes that they will live

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forever. (It wasn't me.) Without further ado, these are the vehicles that we want taking us into the great beyond:

Read more: These Are Lesser-Known Automotive YouTubers Our Readers Say Deserve More Attention

Nobody Call The Health Inspector

A Customer Orders Food From a Brown Food Truck on East Monroe Street in May 2025 in Chicago.
My friend's shwarma food truck. For sanitation purposes, I could be stowed somewhere as to avoid food contamination, and after the funeral, he can open up shop during the wake and make some extra money catering the event.

Submitted by: Alf Enthusiast

You're Not Waking Up In This Bugatti

Ralph Lauren's black Bugatti Type 57 Atlantic at the Concorso d'eleganza Villa d'Este in Italy on 26 May 2013
A Bugatti Type 57SC Atlantic. I want to go out in style, and there is nothing with more style than that car. Nothing.

Submitted by: BB

Who You Gonna Call? Ghostbusters!

The Ecto-1 vehicle is seen on the set of the 'Ghostbusters: Afterlife' movie sequel outside the iconic Firehouse in Tribeca, Manhattan on June 15, 2023 in New York City.
Ecto-1...with my ashes in a ghost trap.

Submitted by: Adam Minter

Ghostbusters ambulance. Inappropriate on so many levels.

Submitted by: Jeff Purvis

If My Corpse Can't Be Beautiful, Let The Hearse Be Gorgeous

A red Aston Martin Vanquish Zagato Shooting Brake parked on a lawn
Oh, this one's easy...Aston Martin Vanquish Zagato Shooting Brake. In my opinion, one of the most drop-dead gorgeous cars made in the past decade.

Submitted by: Otter Hendrix

A BMW To Leave The Procession Stalled On The Road

A grey BMW M5 E34
Choose a 20-year-old BMW from virtually any NPOND article, and you'd almost be guaranteed immortality since you'd never make it to the cemetery.

Submitted by: BuddyS

The Cars Franchise Finale That No One Asked For

John Lasseter (R), Chief Creative Officer of Pixar Animation Studios, Jay Ward (C), Creative Director, and Jay Shuster (L), Production Designer, debut a life-size version of Lightning McQueen, one of the stars of the new Pixar movie "Cars 3" at the 2017 North American International Auto Show on January 8, 2017 in Detroit, Michigan.
Any car, but with a Lightning McQueen body kit. The eyes are repainted to look like they're crying, and the following cars all have black veils. Then I hire that PI firm in Florida that pretends to be cops and tries to pick fights with anyone who drives too close to them.

Submitted by: Rayce Archer

Taking A Time Machine To My Own Funeral

DMC DeLorean with parts added and inspired by the movie trylogy "Back to the future" car during Fireball Transcontinental Run 2010 event.
A Doc Brown DeLorean time machine. I, of course, will be driving.

Submitted by: Kal van der Meij

Please Don't Keep The Meter Running

A black 1988 Austin FX4S cab on a London street
Austin FX4 taxi. Iconic, spacious, and hearse-like.

Submitted by: Giantsgiants

I'm Never Dying, But A Rocket Will Do

SpaceX Falcon Heavy conducts USSF-52 launch for the United States Space Force from Launch Complex 39A at Kennedy Space Center carrying a Boeing X-37B Orbital Test Vehicle at 8:07 p.m. ET, viewed from the A. Max Brewer Bridge in Titusville, Florida.
A dream hearse would imply that I plan on dying and not having my brain put into a new immortal cyborg body.Though I suppose, should I expire before my cyborg body is ready, that my dream hearse would be some kind of rocket that would launch my remains someplace cool, like into the sun or to Jupiter.

Submitted by: Mike Szekely

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