The sinkhole demons that lurk beneath the surface of the planet have once again demonstrated their appetite for automobiles. Let us take a moment to recall their most infamous moment, the 2014 inhalation of numerous historic Corvettes at the National Corvette Museum in Kentucky. About a week ago, they were back at it, albeit at a more modest and less destructive scale. This time, the sinkhole opened at a Kia dealership in Pennsylvania. A mere four Kia Sportages slipped in and the dealership responded
as dealerships often do; opportunistically.
All right, the sinkhole was really more of a sink-ditch, and only one of the Sportages was damaged (a scratch). According to Automotive News, the dealership swiftly capitalized on the understandable media frenzy and conducted a "sinkhole sale." Altoona Courtesy Kia promoted – wait for it – "groundbreaking deals." The dealership knocked $1,000 off the price tags and offered $1,250 in rebates, Automotive News reported.
Read more: These Are The Dumbest Car Crashes You've Ever Seen
Some Sinkhole Science
The Altoona Kia sinkhole was caused by a bout of rain in the area. According to the USGS, sinkholes are something that people living in Pennsylvania have to think about. In this case, a combination of regional geology, pavement, heavy vehicles, and weather conspired to sink the Kias. Evidently, the dealership quickly repaired and repaved the sunken area, which from my point of view was more of a Band-Aid type move. Of course, another collapse could simply be an excuse for another sale! Sounds like this last one was a rousing success!
Let's take a step back, however, and note that sinkholes are serious business. They also have a tradition of affecting both cars and infrastructure. An entire intersection in Japan was affected earlier this year. Cleveland experienced similar trauma in 2023. An enormous sinkhole targeted a police station in West Virginia in 2022. A crash in Phoenix last year damaged a fire hydrant, and the ensuing gusher of water opened a car-swallowing sinkhole. I hadn't previously heard about a sinkhole at a car dealership, so the dark sinkhole forces are obviously going after vehicles before they're even sold.
Nature Is Not Out To Get Us
In all seriousness, nature is just nature. It isn't inherently out to get us. That said, I remember covering the Corvette Museum sinkhole, which was enormous and took out a lot of cars. The humor at the time revolved around nature taking a stance on Vettes, which do after all have a checkered reputation, or at any rate did have such a reputation before the latest generation of mid-engine cars upgraded the Vette's mojo. The Pennsylvania sinkhole also seems a bit like an amateur effort, to be honest. Gobbling up a bunch of Vettes is objectively more impressive than lightly threatening a row of Kia Sportages. But I guess sinkholes have to learn somehow.
The USGS admits that sinkhole activity isn't officially monitored in the U.S. There is no database, just anecdotes. This is because sinkholes are relatively rare occurrences. And the way things are going with the government and science, I wouldn't count on a national sinkhole archive to come online anytime soon. So for now, when it comes to sinkholes, we're on our own. I recommend watching your step at Kia dealerships. But don't pass up the opportunity to get a great deal on a brand-new, lightly sinkhole-scarred car! Not even sure if they have to put that on the Carfax.
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